I have been dying to type on this blog and to tell you how i feel. It's been so long. Ok first I just wanted to tell you how good it feels to be able to write down my every feelings and what I have in mind. Wow love it.
I broke the charger of my laptop so I couldn't use my mac for ages! Thank God I finally bought a new one.
Anyway. Reading thru what I wrote a few months back.. wow.. Well, Let me tell you the story from the beginning for those {even tho none read this} who didn't follow the story.
I was 18 when I first met him, the 'love of my life' my greatest love and my first real lover. Best friend, boyfriend and potentially member of my family. He was my home.
We fell madly in love with each other, I couldn't even explain half of the feelings or what it feels like to love someone
that much that nothing else is sure but your feelings.
We stayed together for like nearly two years on and off if you have read my other post you would be able to see the 'hate and love' post's.
When you love someone like this.. it's nothing else but unhealthy for yourself. Couldn't eat after arguments, couldn't sleep and probably lost weights..
Anyway we broke up about 8 months, and because our relationship was terribly complicated from breakups to makeups I always had in mind this possibility that 'yes' we might get back together eventually very soon. So I couldn't open myself to anyone else because at first I thought that I was scared to get hurt, but the truth is I was just scared to move on. I was scared to realise that we might not be together again if I went with someone else. I always wondered how it was to wake up one morning and not think about you. Would it be nice to be able to think about who you were when I hear your name. Because at the very moment when I hear your name I still have this weird feeling on my belly, It's like butterflies and it's preventing me from eating anything. But hey! I stopped crying a few days ago.
This is how the story went.. I met him. Fell in love like crazy and found out a few weeks back that .. The Love of My life got married with someone else.
Typing this is ripping my heart because it means that it's real.
That really happened. I'm crying at this very moment and I know that when I will be reading this in a few months I will probably think to myself 'what a looser I was' but can you imagine the worst heartbroken happening to you and see the person that you ever loved exchanging vows with someone else. And even if I don't miss him, I do miss it.
Does it make sense? Why can I just forget about him and live and happy life like everyone else seems to have.
Anyway. Speak to you soon. If you read this...
I broke the charger of my laptop so I couldn't use my mac for ages! Thank God I finally bought a new one.
Anyway. Reading thru what I wrote a few months back.. wow.. Well, Let me tell you the story from the beginning for those {even tho none read this} who didn't follow the story.
I was 18 when I first met him, the 'love of my life' my greatest love and my first real lover. Best friend, boyfriend and potentially member of my family. He was my home.
We fell madly in love with each other, I couldn't even explain half of the feelings or what it feels like to love someone
that much that nothing else is sure but your feelings.
We stayed together for like nearly two years on and off if you have read my other post you would be able to see the 'hate and love' post's.
When you love someone like this.. it's nothing else but unhealthy for yourself. Couldn't eat after arguments, couldn't sleep and probably lost weights..
Anyway we broke up about 8 months, and because our relationship was terribly complicated from breakups to makeups I always had in mind this possibility that 'yes' we might get back together eventually very soon. So I couldn't open myself to anyone else because at first I thought that I was scared to get hurt, but the truth is I was just scared to move on. I was scared to realise that we might not be together again if I went with someone else. I always wondered how it was to wake up one morning and not think about you. Would it be nice to be able to think about who you were when I hear your name. Because at the very moment when I hear your name I still have this weird feeling on my belly, It's like butterflies and it's preventing me from eating anything. But hey! I stopped crying a few days ago.
This is how the story went.. I met him. Fell in love like crazy and found out a few weeks back that .. The Love of My life got married with someone else.
Typing this is ripping my heart because it means that it's real.
That really happened. I'm crying at this very moment and I know that when I will be reading this in a few months I will probably think to myself 'what a looser I was' but can you imagine the worst heartbroken happening to you and see the person that you ever loved exchanging vows with someone else. And even if I don't miss him, I do miss it.
Does it make sense? Why can I just forget about him and live and happy life like everyone else seems to have.
Anyway. Speak to you soon. If you read this...